Barack Obama 
Sun Jan 18, 2009 at 00:01:01 AM EST
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The American people claim that they will be patient with the new president as he attempts to turn things around. For years! Years of patience! I'm taking guesses as to how many weeks it will be before the American people return to their fundamental attitude, which I believe is best captured by Keenan Thompson on SNL (skip ahead to 2:00) "When I wake up tomorrow morning, it better be ALL FIXED."
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Mon Dec 22, 2008 at 12:46:34 PM EST
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Joe Biden is never at a loss for words. Clearly this former stutterer is making up for lost time. So when George Stephanopoulos asked Biden why Obama had chosen Warren--a man who compares homosexuality to incest and pedophelia--to deliver the invocation, Biden got right to the point: "Well, look, Barack Obama, candidate Obama, Senator Obama, President-elect Obama [just so we're all on the same page on which Barack Obama I'm speaking of] has a--a stellar and outspoken record in support of equality for all Americans, including gay and lesbian Americans. But he also has made a judgment--I think correctly--that in order to heal the wounds of this country and move this country forward so we get out of this--this--this mindset overstated of red and blue and the like--that he was going to reach out, he was going to reach out...this is a time to reach out [not reach around.]"
This prudish position is somewhat surprising coming from a man who once waxed romantic about spending time with men in foxholes: "I've been in these foxholes with these kids, literally in bunkers with them. Let me tell you something, nobody asked anybody else whether they're gay in those foxholes. Our allies--the British, the French, all our major allies--gays openly serve. I don't know the last time an American soldier said to a backup from a Brit, 'Hey, by the way, let me check. Are you gay? Are you straight?' This is ridiculous."
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Mon Dec 08, 2008 at 17:16:27 PM EST
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Every day the incoming Obama administration announces the creation of a new "czar" to tackle some big task facing the nation. The latest czar is the alliterative "car czar." All of which reminded me of a favorite old Woody Allen joke (from "A Brief Yet Helpful Guide to Civil Disobedience"): Some famous examples of revolutions are: ... The Russian Revolution, which simmered for years until the peasants finally realized that the Czar and the Tsar were the same person.
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Wed Nov 26, 2008 at 13:18:09 PM EST
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Those of you who are regular readers of jspot may have noticed that, for the past five months or so, I have not be blogging. For those of you who are not regular readers... well, you'll have to take my word on it. My hiatus came about when I was given leave from Jewish Funds for Justice, started a political action committee with Ari Wallach called the Jewish Council for Education & Research (JCER), and threw myself into the task of increasing Barack Obama's support in the Jewish community. When I left JFSJ for JCER in July, Obama was polling at around 60% vs McCain among Jewish voters. On Election Day, Obama won 78% of the Jewish vote. There have been numerous explanations put forward to explain this dramatic shift; in this post, I'll share my thoughts on why the number started out so low (for us Jews, 60% is low for a Democratic candidate for President) and why it ended up so high.
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Tue Sep 30, 2008 at 07:28:19 AM EDT
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You Never Forget Your First Debate, but in case you do forget it, or like, never watched it in the first place, here are the undebatably top 10 best moments from Friday Night's debate.
1) Host Jim Lehrer tries to provoke a presidential man love/hate catfight: "talk to each other about it. We've got five minutes. We can negotiate a deal right here..." Wow! That would be the first time ever presidential nominees "sealed the deal" live and on television.
2) Lehrer will not let up. Turns into that persistent fratboy intent on provoking throw-down long after his fellow brohams are ready to go to the next bar: "Say it directly to him.... Say it directly to him..." 3) Video cameras and television screens, clearly part of vast left conspiracy, show liberal bias toward Obama. McCain made to look pasty and nervous, Obama made to look glowing and dapper. 4) Obama outs himself as the true swinging liberal that he is by using word "orgy." 5) McCain outs himself opponent of ERs for veterans. The senator is so opposed to funding ERs, that he refuses to pronounce the "er" in veterans, whom he insists on calling veterans. 6) McCain pulls a Maverick and breaks with Bush by pronouncing nucular "nuclear." 7) Barack pulls a Borat. Obama vows to "crush Al Qaeda" just as Borat vows to "cruuuuuush" a woman "if she cheat on me." 8) Lehrer gets his wish as nominees engage in a bling-based cat fight. After McCain shows off his soldiers' bracelets Obama reminds the Senator: "I've got a bracelet, too..." Oh snap! 9) McCain proves patriotism by calling Guantanamo Guantaynamo. Refuses to jump on the PC, multicultural, polylinguistic bandwagon. (Ironically, pronounces Taliban with Spanish accent.) 10) McCain brags about his 35-year old friendship with 85-year-old Henry Kissinger. A less in-touch nominee would be embarrassed by an age-incriminating and war-crimes-criminal friendly admission.
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Sat Jun 28, 2008 at 11:16:41 AM EDT
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 1. Karl Rove wants to bone Michelle Obama
He recently described Barack as "the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by." Looks like someone wants Michelle to be his baby mama. It's OK Karl. This is where the healing starts.
2. If the caribou could speak, they would say "Build Us a Pipeline!"
Although the liberal media wants you to believe otherwise, the real champions for animal rights are the Republicans, not the Democrats. Look at pipeline-hugger Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., and her animal-centric advocacy for oil drilling in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Reserve: "Some suggestions are that perhaps we would see an enhancement of wildlife expansion because of the warmth of the pipeline..." Bachman argues that the drilling is already providing the social and caffeine dependent caribou with a meeting place, or, as she explains,"coffee klatch." 3. If we talk about torture, we let the CSPAN-watching terrorists win
Vice President Dick Cheney's top adviser David Addington rightly refuses to answer Congress's questions on his involvement in torture memos. He explains to pushy terrorist-enabler Bill Delahunt (D-MA) "you kind of communicate with al Qaeda. If you do--I can't talk to you, al Qaeda may watch CSPAN." Anyone who knows anything about islamofascism and/or cable service knows that Al quada hearts CSPAN, which is one of the few channels you can actually get in Afghani caves. 4. McCain chief strategist praying for terrorist attack on the U.S.
McCain strategist Charlie Black says of another terrorist attack on U.S., "certainly it would be a big advantage to him." Let's keep our fingers crossed! 5. Scratch that, McCain chief strategist was suffering from a good old fashioned case of delirium-inducing blueballs.
Turns out Black is "a good guy." He was just thinking with his other head, and was distracted by the "tremendous reporter cleavage," according to former McCain strategist Mike Murphy.
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Mon Jun 23, 2008 at 12:07:05 PM EDT
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 Republicans are shocked and appalled that a racist pin which reads "If Obama is President...Will we still call it the White House?" was sold at the Texas Republican Party convention. To show their commitment to combating racism, the GOP is donating the money raised by the vendor to help flood victims in the Midwest. They also stipulated that under no circumstances could any of the money go to Katrina victims who are still without homes, neighbors, trailers or security. The difference, of course, as Rush Limbaugh explains, is that the people of Iowa and Illinois are "the heartland...and the backbone of America," while people of the gulf coast, are the infected appendix of the U.S., and "a bunch of people running around waving guns at helicopters...shooting cops....raping people on the street...whining and moaning--where's FEMA, where's BUSH."
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Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 22:34:12 PM EDT
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(Welcome to jspot Katie - promoted by Mik Moore)
 The Obama pound, exchanged between Michelle and Barack on Tuesday night, marked a historic moment. Of course, there's that whole first black nominee for president thing. But more significant is the fact that the greeting which has been described by confused white journalists as a "fist bump," "closed-fist high-five," "a frat-tastic fist bump" and a "'Hezbollah' style fist-jabbing" is finally being introduced to mainstream culture. The introduction of "The Pound" into our national vocabulary will have ripple effects. It already has.
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