plastic surgery 
Wed Jan 20, 2010 at 14:14:43 PM EST
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Three weeks ago, I wrote about the Matzah Ball, the “revolutionary” Jewish singles party on Christmas Eve aka the sleaziest Jewish themed event I’ve ever been to. At the Matzah Ball, as I wrote, there was a table offering plastic surgery advice and coupons.
Yesterday, after I had finally got the grime of the event off of my skin, I got a call from the plastic surgery clinic that the organizers of the Matzah Ball had given my contact information to (WTF Matzah Ball organizers?) “Congratulations,” a cheery voice told me, “you didn’t win the drawing, but you were a runner up.” She offered me $500 off of any “cosmetic procedure”. When I told her I wasn’t interested, she offered it to any of my family members, as long as they called back within 24-hours. “This is special for you, because you attended the Matzah Ball.”
As disgusted as I am, I can’t say I’m surprised. Cosmetic surgery has been a not-very-secret secret of mainstream Jewish American culture for a few generations now. Two of my three grandmothers (yes, I said three) had nose jobs by the time they were 18. Grandma Esther got a nose job in a small town in Ohio in the 1930’s. Could that sound any more painful?
And by the time I was 12, Bubbe Debbie made it clear that she would pay for a nose job. By the time I was 18, I had to directly tell her to stop talking about my nose. I’d love to say my grandmothers or the Matzah Ball is an exception, but unfortunately they aren’t. Is looking "like a Jew" still such a bad thing?
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